Dale Carnegie wrote in his book How To Win Friends And Influence People that to criticize and not be hated for it, you should “call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.”
One striking point for me is his advice on the use of “and” instead of “but” between your positive statement about the person who make the mistake and the statement about what change you want that person to make. For example, in trying to change a child’s careless attitude toward studies, we might say, “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.”
To use “and” in this context, your criticism my read something like, “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.”
This is great advice. No doubt. Dale Carnegie raised a lot of appealing examples to support his idea. All of them seems to suggest…
