Everyone would agree that mistakes are unavoidable. Some try to avoid them because they don’t want to feel inferior. This may be the biggest mistake of all as while they’re feeling that way, there are those who are busy making mistakes and becoming superior.
Others learn that they are the lessons of wisdom that can only be learned the hard way. Yet, most of us don’t know how to really learn from our mistakes and maybe that’s why you’ve found this post.
I hope that the tips that follows could allow you to turn your mistakes, past and future, into the stepping-stones to success.
Ready your mind for the lessons!
Recognise and admit it from your heart. If it affects others, apologise humbly for what it has caused them and, where appropriate, ask them for advice about how you could avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
Change your attitude towards mistakes. Never blame yourself nor others; take total responsibility. That’s how you could ready your brain for the best lessons learned from your mistakes. Also, you are not your mistake. It just is. You cannot avoid it but you can choose how to respond to it. So, whenever you make a mistake, remind yourself that how you respond to it is in your complete control and that your choice is to learn from it.
Find the causes and do it differently next time!
When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. -Hugh White (1773 – 1840)
Work out the reasons why the mistake happened. This involves you making a list of the information that’s relevant to the mistake. For example, if I’ve just had a traffic accident and caused another car damage, I should ask, how did that happened? The list may look like this: I was driving in a stressful traffic; I had just turned left and was speeding up at about 40km/hr; I was talking on the phone; and I was taking a quick look at the phone because the other person on the phone with me was asking about the time.
Ask yourself these questions: (1) What did I do right? and (2) What should I do differently next time? In the example above, I was right to do 40km/hr. My answer to the second question is that I should never talk on the phone again while driving and that I should not look away from heavy traffic. In short, I should driving while driving.
I find it helpful to ask three why’s when mistakes are complicated. (Remember the rule of three’s!) If that’s the case, you should also…
…ask for constructive feedbacks. Why? There are always blind spots in our life due to various reasons such as invalid assumptions (In the example above, I didn’t know it’s dangerous to talk on the phone while driving till the accident occurred); escalating commitments; over-commitments; constrained perspective; over-confidence, etc. Besides, the mistake may be new to us, but our friends may have made it and learned well from it already.
To close, I suggest that first and foremost, you ready your mind for the precious life lessons you can only learn by making mistakes and learning from them. Then, you should assess the causes of the mistake, on your own or with help from others. Finally, grab the lessons and apply them wisely for your self-development. Also, always remember to learn from mistakes of others too!
